MUAHAHAHA. (+ a really bad poem, "don't")

i deleted the piece of crap up here.
because

although it was true, it was too
deep and scathing on my poor
soul.

lol, no. it was too overdramatic and "oh, woe is me" and whatever.
but tis a new day, and i can take it as it comes.

so bring it on!

((but i did save my poem on my computer, just in case i feel that way again. just in case.))

((ooh, lookie here. how did that get down there...?))

"don’t"

feelings of shame.
so deep, so body wracking.

why would i do this to myself?
stupid, stupid.
of course i let my self go too far.

it could never happen.
it will never happen for me.
never, never, never.

godamnit how i wanted it.
i saw something in nothing.
i waited for it.
longed for it.
but now is nothing but an empty shell.

wants nothing to do with me.
wants only what i have.
wants what i dont want.

not love.
closeness.

a spark in the dark of my heart--extinguished.

it sounds overdramatic,
because
it
is.

i'm just some overdramatic teenager.
a teenager that has missed out on so much--
i was so close, but never close enough,
it will never
ever
be.

unless i really hope
and wish
and tell.

but
now
i'm
too
afraid.

shameful.
i am ashamed.
for what i cant
wont
never will be able to


do.