why?

whenever im with you, im happy.
happy as can be, no problems.
whenever he comes too, im okay.
okay is as okay does, and nothing happens.

afterwards, though.
i curse myself.
i feel awful
-sad
-jealous
-stupid

all over again!
why do i still get upset after seeing him?
after seeing him with you...?
do i just want you for myself, like her?
do i still have those feelings for him--

NO.
no no no no no no no no.
that can't be.
i told myself to let them go,
because he already had.

why am i so weak?
why can't i just drop it?
why do i plague myself with this
stupidity?

why am i so weak?