your hands

the bird falls from its lofty perch,
the heart flys to the throat,
the mind spins in circles,

and they, the hands reach down and catch the bird.

that silly, undeserving bird.

struggling, beating her wings,
the bird trys to break free
with a scene,
and as it tries to flutter away
the wings freeze,
and the fall begins again.

but the hands attempt to catch her
again.

when will they miss?
no, with a sigh,
its not this time.
why do the hands try?
why
wont they let the bird fall?
it doesnt want to fly
anymore, it wants to die.
but the hands still try
to pry
some life out of her.

----------------
i wonder...

insignificance

And it's when you realize that you are--
BANG! goes the bullet to the brain,
Condolences to the family you find so
Dear. Friends who you thought
Enjoyed you are now
Freed from those binding chains.
Giddy with relief, they can now soar to new
Heights, like smoke from the stick of
Incense you left burning on the windowsill, your
Joys and sorrows are erased, and your last breath
Kindles sparks and flames. A fire that always frightens
Love away. Your
Mind now gone, heart to
Never experience that
Open connection. Body on a
Pyre, built from wood. Body wrapped in
Quilts. Sweet suicide, once not a worry, only to
Rot in Hell.
Sticky fingers reach out to grab those friends and drag
Them down too, but you bat them away, those
Ungrateful thoughts mustn't
Vex those who
Would have tried to
X-ray your brain, learn what was wrong with
You. But now, free, they will never know the
Zones of you that only fear and hate.

---------------
i wish people would just tell me.
that way, i wouldn't bother them anymore.
because i want only the best for them all.

why?

whenever im with you, im happy.
happy as can be, no problems.
whenever he comes too, im okay.
okay is as okay does, and nothing happens.

afterwards, though.
i curse myself.
i feel awful
-sad
-jealous
-stupid

all over again!
why do i still get upset after seeing him?
after seeing him with you...?
do i just want you for myself, like her?
do i still have those feelings for him--

NO.
no no no no no no no no.
that can't be.
i told myself to let them go,
because he already had.

why am i so weak?
why can't i just drop it?
why do i plague myself with this
stupidity?

why am i so weak?