holding

with the gunshot smack slap crash
my body drifts sideways
into through inside
the brown dirty dust of your past.

wind picks up as my body is held,
suspension.
hair stings my face as wind becomes
hurricane.
clothes whip me furiously, punishing
my flesh, punishing me for existing
within
the brown dirty dust of your past.

the dust thickens, brown shades into black,
all i can see is nothing, all i can feel is everything.

the wind still drives, pushing harder than before,
but my skin now numb from your warmth feels
nothing.

-------------------------
a body suspended, unable to move in brown dust.
that was the image stuck in my head....

but what does that mean?

never.

what did you think?
that sea-foam bubbles would
burst from my mouth and
float into your ears to
give you kind gifts and
soft warm delights to your
thought-riddled brain?

what did you think?
that my lovely head of hair would
turn twist into braids for you to
see and admire just for you to
rip them out of my scalp and
watch as my ruby blood
smeared poetics into your
softly sculpted chest?

what did you think?
that small spider sights would
leap from my eyes to yours and
give you new skies to
see?

what did you think?
that i would let you
ravish my coneflower soul and
drip your venom thoughts so to
bend me to your razorblade whims?

what did you think?
that my rock temple mind would
forgive those thorny rose happenings?

-------------------------------------

the last three stanzas don't match,

but i liked them anyways.